Your Christmas Movie Based on Zodiac Sign
The “New York Post” created a list of Christmas movies with each zodiac sign in mind. Here’s which movie you should watch, based on your sign, and a short explanation:
- Aries: “A Christmas Story” . . . “[It] checks the boxes for Aries with a storyline that leverages triple dog dares, obsession, poor impulse control, and tacky lamps.”
- Taurus: The classic 1947 version of “Miracle on 34th Street” . . .”Taurus folks make for natural skeptics. Bulls will approve of [this movie], a meditation on capitalism, the burden of proof, and the beauty of believing.”
- Gemini: “The Santa Clauses” . . . “[The] premise is one close to the extremely indecisive heart of every Gemini as a retirement-age Santa must grapple with work/life balance and the consequence of his bad choices.” (It’s actually a TV series on Disney+, but it’s a continuation of Tim Allen “The Santa Clause” movie series.)
- Cancer: The Lindsay Lohan Netflix movie “Falling for Christmas” . . . “The trailer reminds us, ‘sometimes forgetting who you were means discovering who you are,’ which sounds like a water sign justifying their alcohol blackout or poor choice in romantic partners.”
- Leo: The Freddie Prinze Jr. Netflix movie “Christmas with You” . . . “Dance routines? DILFs? Grand gestures? All catnip to Leo.”
- Virgo: “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” . . . “Virgo thrives on being underestimated, and no story encapsulates the spirit of the underdog or under deer like ‘Rudolph’.”
- Libra: “Elf” . . . “[They] are inclined to have difficult relationships with their fathers and never has that dynamic been more delightfully dramatized than in the ballad of Buddy the elf and his dad.”
- Scorpio: “Spirited“, the “Christmas Carol” adaptation starring Ryan Reynolds and Will Ferrell . . . “No one loves a bad guy goes good story arc more than a Scorpio.”
- Sagittarius: The Netflix movie “A Boy Called Christmas” . . . “[It] is pure cinematic bait for the average Sagittarius who loves nothing more than an unexpected journey and an optimist’s errand.”
- Capricorn: “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” . . . “Capricorn represents the archetype of the father and there has never been a better unhinged holiday daddy than Chevy Chase as Clark Griswold.”
- Aquarius: “Home Alone” . . . “Most lone wolf water bearers would welcome the chance to spend the holidays alone in a fancy house, eating ice cream and outsmarting baddies.”
- Pisces: “It’s a Wonderful Life” . . . “Ruled by dream planet Neptune, Pisces is associated with film, fantasy and far-flung romance.”
In our humble opinion, if we were you, we’d write a strongly worded letter to the New York Post on this bogus list of movies. Where are the classics like, “The Holiday,” “The Family Stone,” “Christmas With The Kranks,” or “Arthur Christmas“?!!
A Freddie Prinze Jr. movie made the list over Jude Law?!?